Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
