I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
