when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
