I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
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