my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
