Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
