yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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