help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
