Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
