I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
