Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
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