it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
