I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
This is the high leading the old right now
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
