So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize
