You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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