When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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