At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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