this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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