I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Randomize
