i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
