I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
