just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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