people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize
