If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Randomize
