I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Found the puke drawer
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
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