Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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