i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
