just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
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