but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
