why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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