I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Randomize
