i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
