Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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