I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
There's always time for handjobs
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
