Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Randomize
