That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
