just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
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