I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Randomize
