Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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