This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
