got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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