he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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