I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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