A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
The power of my boobs compel you
Randomize
