maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Randomize
