Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
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