i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
