Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
i've created a new STD.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
