Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
