My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Randomize
