i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
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