new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
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