I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
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