Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
This baby is an asshole
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
