this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Randomize
